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Thursday, December 09, 2010

I miss you most at Christmas time

Dear Max,
Every Christmas tears fill my eyes as I unwrap this ornament and hang it on the tree.  Every year the same thoughts flood my mind as I stare at it.  I remember when your Nino and I sat in a parking lot of a school as we excitedly talked about how your Mommy and Daddy asked us to be your godparents.  I remember your Nino getting teary and so did I at what a huge honor and responsibility it would be to be your Ninos.  We dreamed of the years ahead and how we would spoil you rotten, how we truly wanted to embrace being your second set of parents to the fullest.  We were thrilled for the future.

I remember the last time I held you.  I stopped by your house to borrow a shampooer from your parents.  Your Nino and I were getting married and had just bought our first couch, which was used and needed to be cleaned.  I got to spend a little time with you before I left.  As I held you, you were a flirt, batting your gorgeous blue eyes and smiling at me.  I kissed your cheeks over and over and left.  I remember bragging to your Nino how adorable you were and how I could have eaten you up.  I didn't know that was the last time I'd hold you.

You'd be over 8 1/2 years old now.  I wonder if you would have kept your blue eyes, or how tall you would be.  I wonder how different our families lives would be if you were still here.  I wonder how our Christmases would be different.  I imagine your Nino and I searching for the perfect present to put a huge smile on your face. Your Nino and I have 2 little cousins for you now. We've told them all about you and taken them to visit you. Your cousin Belle has asked many questions about you being in Heaven.  She wonders if you still look as you do in the pictures she's seen.

We think about you often.  Somehow Christmas makes thoughts of you even stronger.  As I walk by the tree I catch a glimpse of your ornament and think of you.  I think of your parents, your little brother, and your little sister.  I'm sure they are missing you.  I pray God blesses them this Christmas and always.

We love you angel baby, you will forever and always be in our hearts. I wish you were here.  Love, Nina

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